Books Dave Has Read

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Number of Books Reviewed So Far: 233

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Review

The Bhagavad Gita

Anonymous



Rank: C+
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Spring, 2004
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 27 / 2006

  • Review: The Bhagavad Gita is very short, and, allegedly, very good. I'm still trying to figure out that last part.

    As nearly as I can tell, The Bhagavad Gita is a conversation between God and a great warrior, and the purpose of the conversation is for God to convince the warrior to go and slaughter his enemies. And it ends with him going to do just that. As a result, the bulk of this tome is a lot of talking; not a lot of action. However, the reader is supposed to get something out of the talking. I figure it means more if you read the other books connected to The Bhagavad Gita. I myself haven't. When the time comes for me to read those books, though, I will give The Bhagavad Gita another try. I mean, it is short. It would be folly not to read it again.

  • Categories: Classic, Epic, Indian, Short, Translation

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=32>

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The Nibelungenlied

Anonymous



Rank: B+
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Fall, 1998 to Spring, 2000
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 27 / 2006

  • Review: This is the ultimate tale of revenge. It's not the best of epics, as far as epics go, but the story is extraordinary.

    I'll summarize the plot briefly for you. Siegfried is a superman from the south (the Netherlands) who goes north to claim a bride. He finds Günther, the king of Worms to the north, who has a daughter, Kriemhild, who is lovely beyond compare. Siegfried and Kriemhild fall in love immediately. However, Günther will not give his consent unless Siegfried helps him get a bride—the mighty Brynhild, from Iceland. Siegfried agrees, and then goes to compete in physical competitions for the king by putting on his cloak of invisibility and standing really, really close to him while the king pretends to, say, throw a javelin. Brynhild is won, but unfortunately when Günther tries to consumate his marriage, Brynhild hangs him up on the wall by his underwear. He begs Siegfried to, ahem, "break her in" for him, using his cloak of invisibility, and Siegfried does this. Thus, is everything happy. Until...

    One day Brynhild and Kriemhild are going to church. There is an argument about which one should get to go in first (a truly important matter, it seems). Brynhild says she should, because she's queen of the land. Kriemhild says she should, because, after all, her husband was the first to lay with Brynhild, and she has her chastity belt to prove it. Ouch!

    Thus, there's a rift. So Hagen, a warrior loyal to the queen (Brynhild), agrees to kill Siegfried. So Hagen goes to Kriemhild and tells her that the boys are going out on a hunt, and in order to better protect Siegfried, she should tell him Siegfried's secret spotthe only place where he can be killed. Trusting Kriemhild does so, and Hagen kills mighty Siegfried.

    Now here's where the revenge comes in. Kriemhild mourns Siegfried for the appropriate amount of time, and then marries Attila the Hun to strengthen the tie between their two kingdoms (Worms and Attila's). Over the next twenty years, Kriemhild gets in good with Atilla and his lords, and then suggests that they hold a tournament with Worms. She then sabotages the games in such a way that Worms and Attila go to war. And then EVERYBODY dies. And this was her plan all along! Now that's how you do revenge! I haven't found a better revenge tale in any book I've read so far.

  • Categories: Classic, Epic, German, Translation, Worthwhile

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=33>

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Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

Anonymous



Rank: B-
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Spring, 2000
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 27 / 2006

  • Review: As its name suggests, Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is an Arthurian tale about a knight other than Arthur. It begins like this: Arthur and his knights are at the Round Table living it up, when in walks this moss-covered knight that's all like, "Any you mofos wanna fight? I'll give you the first shot!" Arthur jumps right up to give this party crasher what for, but Sir Gawain wisely points out that it's not for a king to be meddling in the affairs of low-lifes like this guy. Thus, Sir Gawain steps confidently up and lops off the party crasher's head. The moss-covered knight then proceeds to pick up his own head, and the head tells Gawain that he will return the favor in a year's time.

    Pretty neat beginning, huh? Thereafter, it mediocrifies a bit, as Sir Gawain frets about what he sees as his impending doom. Nevertheless, he goes off to meet his destiny, and meets a woman along the way, whom he sleeps with (after all, this is an English story, after all, and it's the duty of a knight to sleep with every female entity he comes across or hears about). Turns out she's the moss-covered knight's wife, and Sir Gawain gets a trinket from her that will protect him from her husband's wrath. Thus, the final battle is staged.

    As I'm summarizing this poem, it sounds a lot more interesting than it actually was. It really wasn't that great. It's got aliteration, and all that, but you can get that elsewhere, nowadays. Anyway, this would be a good episode of Samurai Champloo, but as an "Olde Englishe Tayle", it's only okay. I won't discourage you from reading it, however. If you read a different translation (mine's by Marie Borroff), let me know how it is.

  • Categories: Classic, English, Epic, Poetry, Translation

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=41>

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Beowulf

Anonymous



Rank: B-
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Spring, 2002
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 27 / 2006

  • Review: Silly, England: Epics are for the rest of the world!

    Of the ye olde poetriey I've read from Britain (this one, Sir Gawain, some Arthur stuff, some other stuff), I have but one word: meh. You're not impressing me, Britain. And since that's your job (to impress me, and me alone), you should be ashamed. Fie on you!

    Beowulf's about the great hero Beowulf (whose tuckus could be kicked by Siegfried!). There's this kingdom, right, and it's being terrorized by this monster Grendel (great name), and so Sieg—excuse me, Beowulf (wishful thinking)—goes to slay the beast. This part of the epic I actually like quite a bit. It's very moody, shall we say. There was some Star Trek: The Next Generation episode I can't remember that had a retelling of Beowulf where Grendel turned out to be some ship malfunction that was pretty cool. Anyway, so this all is kind of neat. And I recommend it.

    Skip ahead some...forty years? Now Beowulf's old, or something, and then goes and dies for some reason. Totally unimpressive. Reading it, he doesn't even sound like the same guy. Major letdown.

    Yeah, so if you're writing up a list of epics to read, you can skip this one, I say. If you do get down to it eventually, check out the first half; read the second half while watching commercials on TV, so, as you read and think, "Gah! How can this be so stupid?!", you can look up, see a commercial, and think, "Well, it could be worse..."

  • Categories: Classic, English, Epic, Poetry, Translation

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=48>

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The Epic of Gilgamesh

Anonymous



Rank: A+
No. Times Read: 3
Last Read: Winter, 2004
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 9 / 14 / 2006

  • Review: I hope I don't make any enemies by saying that I think Gilgamesh rocks, because I'm about to say it (here it comes): Gilgamesh ROCKS!

    The Epic of Gilgamesh is allegedly the oldest story on record (I'm just repeating what I've heard; I've got no stake in it), but it reads like it was just written (by someone that rocks). It's about Gilgamesh, a Coriolanus-like warrior-king who terrorizes the people of his kingdom, Uruk. In order to satisfy him, the people pray that he might have some sort of companion. Their prayers are answered in the form of Enkidu, a wild man with a wild heart that seeks out Gilgamesh. They do battle, and, as they're wrestling each other (hey, come to think of it, this is a lot like Shakespeare's Coriolanus... Could it be that an idea of Shakespeare's is...unoriginal?! No, no, perish the thought: He is Shakespeare, the foundation of all English instruction, for some reason! He is infallible!), realize they've met their match, and they come to love each other. Yes, love. I'm saying it here, and I'll say it again: Gilgamesh and Enkidu are literature's first homosexual lovers. It's as old as time immemorial, and they ain't nothing nobody can do about it—not even Pat Robertson (that's right, I'm calling you out, pencil neck! Come and get me!).

    With that out of the way, the rest of the novel is really about time and impermanence. Gilgamesh and Enkidu enjoy some time together, but then they go off to battle Humbaba. In the battle, Enkidu incurs what later becomes a fatal wound. In this way, Gilgamesh is introduced to death. He spends the rest of the novel trying to bring Enkidu back to life, and to win his own immortality—if not by living forever, then at least by ensuring his name will live on forever. The end is truly heart-breaking. Gilgamesh comes to realize that all things die, and his long quest was for naught. To add insult to injury, Gilgamesh returns to the kingdom that he once ruled like a god, only to discover that no one remembers him or Enkidu. In this way, he dies before he dies.

    I'd love to say that the power of this story lies in its simplicity, but, really, it's not a very simple story. It's short, convoluted, and powerful. Utterly brilliant. It's written (or translated) very well, too. Whoever the author was, they knew what they were doing. The description of Enkidu's death is drawn-out and emotionally charged. It really grabs you, if you let it. And I think that's the thing with Gilgamesh, really. If you let it do what it does, and let yourself really get into the story, it'll knock your socks off. Everyone should read this story at least once.

    Now here's the real power of the book. Gilgamesh wants either to live forever, or to have his name live on forever, and he fails in both attempts. Looking outside of the book, though, consider that this is a story that was written on clay tablets in Mesopotamia lord knows when. The clay tablets were lost—many broken—only to be rediscovered in the 19th century. Researchers then set to work translating the story from a dead language so that we could have the story with us today—and they're still finding little fragments here and there every now and then. Gilgamesh did achieve immortality. If there's anything mystic or supernatural in this universe, it works to make sure that good stories get told and live on forever. It brought Gilgamesh and Enkidu back from the dead, and is keeping them alive to this day. Just like in House of Glass, the characters may die, hopeless and forgotten, but the stories survive, and that's the lesson of Gilgamesh: animals, humans, cities, civilizations—all of them pass away; stories live on forever.

  • Categories: Classic, Epic, Short, Translation, Worthwhile

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=180>

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Lazarillo de Tormes

Anonymous



Rank: B-
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Summer, 2008
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 8 / 22 / 2008

  • Review: When I say Lazarillo de Tormes is worthwhile, I want you to understand that the book is sixty pages long. Sixty pages! You might be able to read it aloud to a child without them getting bored! (Though, of course, this type of book ought not to be read to a child, but you get the idea.)

    Lazarillo de Tormes, by some accounts (well, many accounts), is the first picaresque novel. I always thought that "picaresque" meant it involved knights, chivalry, etc. I don't know why I thought that, because it could not be further from the truth. Instead, a picaresque novel is a novel that involves a young boy of the streets that travels from master to master, all of whom are generally bad, and who gets by on street smarts, and learns how to make his way in the world in this manner.

    So, what is Lazarillo de Tormes about? Given that it was the first of its kind, you can probably guess: It's about a boy named Lázaro, a boy of the streets, who travels about Spain from master to master, all of which are bad, and learns how to get by on street smarts. Eventually, he makes something of himself (somewhat).

    I've never read a book that I thought would have been longer if the author weren't lazy. I mean, look at chapter 4, copied in its entirety below:
    I had to find a fourth employer and he turned out to be a friar of the Order of Mercy. The women I mentioned recommended me to him as they said he was a relative of theirs. He wasn't interested in singing in the choir and he wouldn't eat in the monastery. He loved going out and worldly affairs and visiting people. I think he wore more shoes out than the rest of his community put together. He gave me the first pair of shoes I ever went through in my life. They didn't even last me a week and I couldn't take the running around any more. I left him because of that and also because of one or two other things that I shan't bother to mention.
    That latter bit is definitely my emphasis. What, were you on the clock, Anonymous? Was a killer episode of Dharma and Greg coming up? There's not even a hint that these things are too salacious to print, which might have excused it. It's not like you don't have it in you. I mean, look at how long-winded The Nibelungenlied is! You dropped the ball on this one, man. For shame.

    Despite its shortcomings, the book is entertaining. Lázaro is mischievous, and occasionally ingenious, and all in all his regrettably short adventures are amusing. The greater purpose of the book is certainly to critique society at the time, but that we've seen elsewhere (and done better). If you're curious about where Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, and the various abused protagonists of every Horatio Alger, Jr. novel come from, this is it. And honestly, it is just sixty pages. Anyone can do that standing on their head. (Hey, that would probably make for a neat photo...)

  • Categories: Classic, Comic, Picaresque, Short, Spanish, Translation, Worthwhile

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=239>

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The Kalevala

Traditional



Rank: A
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Summer, 2003 to Spring, 2004
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 29 / 2006

  • Review: Ahhh, what a book! This is a good one to read over the course of many months. Some of it is even technically appropriate for children, and those parts that are make good bedtime stories, in this guy's opition.

    The Kalevala exists because of Elias Lönnrott, a scholar who traveled throughout rural Finland to take down the stories still passed down from generation to generation just as the oral tradition in Finland was dying out. Thus, the stories of ancient Finland were preserved in this masterwork. The tales themselves are only loosely connected, and sometimes the connections were created out of thin air by Lönnrott. Essentially, though, you hear tales of the various heroes of Finland: Väinämöinen, the one who created the earth and its beings; Ilmarinen, the smith who forges the mysterious sampo; Jack Frost, the guy who isn't just a Christmas carole; Lemminkäinen, the lusty brigrand who keeps stirring up trouble here and there; and Louhi, the witch of North Farm. This is truly an epic among epics.

    Some things to note about The Kalevala, though. First, I linked to the version I read (and own) above. It's written in verse in English, in an attempt to emulate (as nearly as possible) the original Finnish. The result is distracting at times (though entertaining, on the whole). I've been told that I might read a different version—specifically, a version translated by Francis P. Magoun, which I've linked to here—which was translated into regular prose, and that then I might be able to appreciate (and follow, probably) the stories a little bit better.

    Also, The Kalevala is light on action. This is what I mean by that. Let's say a character has to go out and kill a magic bear of some kind. Pages will be devoted to where the bear came from, and what he can do. More pages will be devoted to how the character is instructed to kill the bear. Yet more will be devoted to how the character prepares to kill the bear, and how he journeys to where the bear is. Then, in three or four lines (literally!), it will say, "then character x killed the bear", and that's it. This takes some getting used to, to say the least.

    Finally, as I mentioned above, this epic was collected at the tail-end of the oral tradition tradition in Finland. Thus, it's tainted. I have no doubt that when these tales were flying around in ancient times there was nothing about Noah and the flood and certainly nothing about the virgin birth (entertaining as it may be). Thus, you're not getting the real deal. And I'm big on the real deal when it comes to epics. I mean, I could write an ancient Finnish epic. I could call it Finnish Epic: The 9/11 Story, and have it prominently feature the attacks on the World Trade Center. Chances are, though, that no one would read it (well, unless I really did it, in which case everyone would read it), because it wouldn't be the real deal, man.

    As a closing note, this book totally changed the country of Finland. It really got the movement for independence going, and was a terrific mobilizing force amongst the Finnish people. It's rare that a book has that much power, and such books are always worth reading. Be warned, though: It's long. Really long. More than worth it, though.

  • Categories: Classic, Epic, Finnish, Long, Poetry, Translation, Worthwhile

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=144>

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Touch the Earth

Various



Rank: A-
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Spring, 2005
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 27 / 2006

  • Review: Ever get that feeling that you don't deserve all you have? That you feel like you were born too lucky, with too many benefits you didn't earn? If your answer is, "No", you might consider reading this book.

    Compiled by T.C. McLuhan, Touch the Earth is a compilation of the various writings and speeches of prominent Native American writers and orators over the last few centuries (up to the 1970's, when the book was compiled). The book stands as a stinging indictment of the Indo-European conquerors, who, ever since their "discovery" of the New World, sought to viciously and systematically eradicate the peoples they discovered here upon their arrival. By reading the words of various authors from various places at various points in time, it's easy to see how one broken promise after another has led to the situation of the present day where a people spread out over an entire continent have been neatly tucked away into little backwoods pockets here and there and forgotten. It doesn't make you think so much as make you sick.

    This book was compiled for two main reasons: Firstly, to remind present-day Americans (again) about what was done to Native Americans in the past, and what is still being done; and second, to criticize "modern day society". This was the 70's, and everyone was big on the "back to nature" stuff, and so, logically, Native Americans must be superior, since they're more in tune with nature. That comes through in the writings that were selected. However, what I'm sure the compiler did not intend to show was the tremendous variability in the beliefs of the different writers from different tribes at different times, as revealed by their writings and orations. In early textual examples, the theme of the land not being owned by anyone is prevalent. Thus, there are a lot of writings that reflect various Native American writers' belief that the land is a gift that can't be owned and must be shared and taken care of. Later on, though, a different writer from a different time remarks that their tribe were the ones who were chosen to be the caretakers of the land, and so, by divine right, it was theirs.

    I point out the preceding because one effect that the book does achieve is to show that the Native Americans, above all else, are human beings—something that seems to get lost in the shuffle when discussing broken treaties and reservations. Often, history books treat Native Americans as a commodity or a species, while spiritualists revere them as deities or—even worse—as retainers of "ancient wisdom", however they choose to define it. The writings of Touch the Earth force the reader to accept the humanity—fallibility and all—of the peoples that were herded and exterminated like buffalo, which, in my opinion, makes the tragedies of the past all the more disgusting.

    Oh, there are neat pictures, too.

  • Categories: Amerind, Classic, Controversial, Graphic, Non-Fiction, Worthwhile

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=28>

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The Illyrian Adventure

Lloyd Alexander



Rank: F
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Summer, 1997
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 27 / 2006

  • Review: I'm embarrassed to admit that I read this book. But, I did, so I have to put it up here. Have to. Why, I don't know. Anyway, I'd just finished reading the last of the pretentiously named Prydain Cycle by Alexander, so I thought, "Gee, did he ever write anything else any good?" As fate would have it, this book was at a library book sale. Twenty-five cents later, I was on my way to adventure—or so I thought! [Read on to see if I was actually on my way to adventure!]

    As it turns out, I was not, actually, on my way to adventure. Instead, I found myself reading an insufferably mediocre book about a girl who goes to Turkey, for some reason, back in the 1870's. The book moves seamlessly from one stereotypical adventure to another, like a slot car on a slot car track, set upon a "colorful" backdrop with "colorful" characters that are little more than racist colonial caricatures, as if the book had been written in the 1870's, and not about the 1870's. As I neared the end of this book, I kept looking up to make sure there wasn't someone watching me, pointing and laughing.

    This is obviously not a book to read for one's own pleasure. At the same time, though, I wouldn't recommend it for children, either, simply because it's just not as good as other books of a similar vein by different authors. On the bright side, though, if the author was able to make money on this book, there's hope for us all in the wide world of publishing.

  • Categories: Juvenile, Short, Trash

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=30>

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Struggling Upward

Horatio Alger, Jr.



Rank: C+
No. Times Read: 1
Last Read: Summer, 1998
Reviewed By: Dave
Date Review Added: 6 / 27 / 2006

  • Review: Many blame Horatio Alger, Jr. for the present state of the Republican party. Or if not, they should.

    For those unfamiliar, Horatio Alger, Jr. was a writer who had an unnatural love for young boys, which very nearly landed him in prison. He was acquitted, however, because the character of his accusers was called into question (something which would never happen in today's society, of course). Nevertheless, he got the message, and so focused on writing books about young boys. Struggling Upward, or, Luke Larkin's Luck is one such book.

    The plot for this book is simple. A young boy, Luke Larkin, lives alone with his ailing mother and has no money or food. Then one day a mysterious (male) stranger shows up and gives him a box to hold onto which he must never open and must always keep a secret (if you've read anything by Dickens with the words "expectations" and/or "great" in the title, pretend you haven't for the sake of this book). Thereafter, Luke begins to, well, struggle upward. He takes odd jobs and earns a nickle a month, or something, and keeps at it, and slowly earns more money, and then can buy himself some gloves without holes, which allows him to work twice as hard, etc. I don't remember the exact events. Anyway, later we find out that the mysterious stranger was really a rich man who was in trouble when he found Luke. Since Luke was such a good boy, the mysterious stranger adopts Luke and makes him the heir to his vast fortune.

    So here's the thing. People have held up Alger's books as triumphant tales of how, in America, you can start with nothing and end up a rich man (not woman, mind you). But the thing is, all his stories depend on some mysterious wealthy (male) stranger who takes a shine to the main character, and either gives him money, or a job, or both. In this novel in particular, while it's true that Luke wouldn't have been able to get the money in the end had he not upwardly struggled, had there been no mysterious stranger, he and his mother probably would have been dead in a matter of months, struggle or no. So the real moral of this tale is to, I guess, wander around in open places and put your blind trust in strangers. God bless America.

  • Categories: Juvenile, Short

  • URL: <http://dedalvs.com/read/search_key.php?cid=31>

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