Category Archives: D

Don’t sully yourself by saying you’ve read one of these books, even if you have a pressing ulterior motive.

Revenge of the Rainbow Dragons

Rose Estes

If you’re like me, you hear the name “Rose Estes” and wonder, “Who?” It amazes me, to be honest, that someone like Estes could have been so thoroughly forgotten by the pages of history while second-rate authors like Michael Crichton, John Grisham, and Ernest Hemingway remain in the public consciousness…

The Terminal Man

Michael Crichton

In this Crichton novel, the dinosaur is a man who has a near-fatal accident, the result of which are seizures. What kind of seizures, you might ask? Why, killing seizures, of course…

The Andromeda Strain

Michael Crichton

In this one, the dinosaur is a crazy virus the government’s cooking up that gets loose in an Arizona town and kills everyone…

Shapechangers

Jennifer Roberson

There’s no need to read this book…

The Western Lands

William S. Burroughs

I can’t think of a less fair introduction to William S. Burroughs than this atrocious nightmare…

To a God Unknown

John Steinbeck

This book is extremely stupid. I can’t believe I actually finished it…

Congo

Michael Crichton

Why, I wonder, can’t a research team peacefully enter the African jungle to obtain a mysterious diamond that will give its owners unspeakable power, obtain said diamond, and leave without incident…?

La Bohème

Giacomo Puccini

What a stupid, stupid libretto…

Wuthering Heights

Emily Brontë

I can’t think of a single reason to read this book…

Rising Sun

Michael Crichton

Why do this? Why? Think how much time it takes to read a book. Think how many waffles you could prepare and consume in the time it’d take you to finish a four hundred page book…